Piracy is still illegal. If you get caught, you will be punished to the full extent of the law. If you download a song, you must let the RIAA download a song you made. If you download a movie, you must let the MPAA download a movie you made. This will encourage creativity, as the flood of tone-deaf talentless pirates producing music day in and day out will clearly be far superior to modern day pop music.

 (except Chris Dodd, who will be in space)

(except the awesome cars, they will be put in museums)

Personal transportation in areas with troll-heavy climates will be provided by a series of pneumatic tubes (see Futurama).

He will be deported to space.

I will model my campaign after this guy, for he is awesome. Except ponies, they suck.

Just as a driving test is required before somebody can drive a car, a computer test must be passed before someone can use a computer. This would include basic things such as file system navigation, basic maintenance, installing peripherals, connecting to / navigating the internet, and recognizing online scams.

In order to eliminate any chance that financial gain is necessary for success in life, all schools and colleges must be completely free, including room and board for college students.

Star Trek isn’t going to happen by itself, people. Money saved from not funding religion or sports can be funneled directly into the space program. We only have 51 more years until First Contact, so we need to get going.

None of this shit, okay?

Same goes for the Discovery channel, Science channel, Animal planet, The Learning Channel, and The National Geographic Channel.

Also, no more than two shows on the same subject may air at the same time, i.e. How It’s Made, How Do They Do It, Factory Made, Ultimate Factories, etc.